Lantern in her Hand is about the life of Abbie Deal. Born in the mid-1800's, the story is about her life. She is young, she marries, she raises her kids, she sees Oklahoma start from wilderness and be tamed, she grows old. She dies. She sacrifices---she never learns to paint or sing, but her children do. She never has lots of money, but her children do. She is never famous, but her children become so. And it's worth it, the sacrifice, of course it is.
The book would be rated G. It's squeaky clean. It's Little House on the Prairie all over again. I should buy a copy and put it next to Limberlost. It's sentimental, it's meaningful. It does have some nice moments. I could teach it in any class and no one's parents would email me about the content. It would probably be a nice, clean, appropriate book for a book club.
But personally, I found it troubling. Haunting really, and the themes have taunted me as I've been doing the dishes or dropping kids off at school, or trying to find where Lego Mater is so that my youngest could stop pining for him. (MAY-TER! I want MAY-TER!) Through all these mom tasks, I've been thinking about Abbie Deal.
One of the main themes in the book is sacrifice---Abbie never wears her heirloom pearls, always saving them for the lovely, wealthy bride she wants in her posterity. She makes sure her kids have music lessons and art class, but never takes them for herself.
Couldn't Abbie have both? At least eventually? Couldn't she nurture herself and her kids, especially when she wasn't taking care of babies anymore? It was annoying---in her 40's Abbie finally had the chance to take piano lessons, but no, no, no, she said she was too old. Later, she had the chance to go to Europe, but oh no, she couldn't bring herself to go. And, of course, she never wore the pearls. I wanted to call to her: ABBIE DEAL! TAKE PIANO! ABBIE DEAL! GO TO EUROPE! ABBIE DEAL! WEAR THE PEARLS!
But she didn't.
I think what the author intended for me to get out of the book is that, "Oh, yes, it's all worth it. As a mother, I make sacrifices and it's noble to never set myself a place at the table even if I'm setting a banquet for everyone else."
But I got something else out of it. I think there's value in taking care of the mom of this family---me. Seeing if there's anything I can do that will make HER happy.
I am not Abbie Deal. So I wore my pearls to church on Sunday to remind myself of this. As I was putting on my pearls, my oldest son came into the room. "Are those REAL pearls, Mom?" And I could tell him yes. And what I saw on his face was the realization: his mom is worth real pearls.
So I wear the pearls. I think Abbie would have been a lot happier had she worn hers every now and then.
2 comments:
I loved your review here! I am absolutely with you ( even though I haven't read the book ). I was just talking to a friend about this. She said her mom still treats her like a kid, even though she has kids of her own, and she thinks it's partly because her mom sacrificed so much for her family that now she's still having trouble letting go. Her mom was even a little disapproving of her being in the community orchestra. My mom isn't like that. She's thrilled I'm in an orchestra. She has been part of a book group since before I was born, and now we all talk books together. She travels, does humanitarian projects, and Sometimes takes classes. And she is really fun to be with -- interesting, informed, talented. I think taking a little time for herself blesses not only herself, but also her children. I'm glad you wear your pearls.
Oh, Deborah, I just love hearing your voice in the written word. Hearing your review made me think of my pearls, Greg encouraging me and even joining me in my running escapades, and buying a piano so that I can get back to playing. Nope, I am no Abbie Deal, but I do want to read the book. :)
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