Family Vacationing in the Beautiful Black Hills

My family just joined a long-time friend family for a vacation in the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota.

The truth of the matter is that really, I planned the whole thing so I could see our friends. The place was irrelevant, and even a joke to me, when I asked my Colorado friend, "What's close to you? What can we go see?" "Mt. Rushmore!" she said, and we laughed. Ha ha. Then I told my husband who said, completely seriously, "I've always wanted to go there."

And that was how this trip started.

But as I did more and more research on all my trip research-y places (guide books, National Park passports, mom blogs, etc) I read about so many things that we could do in the Black Hills. Most resources said there was more to do than a four day trip would allow, and that it was a lovely place to visit. This is all true.

First of all, the Black Hills are beautiful this time of year and the locals are hospitable, down-to-earth, and accommodating. There are lots of places to stay (we found a house on vrbo), and every town, although small, has enough restaurants to give families enough options.

There are caves and parks and trails and museums galore and it's hard to choose what to do. But here was how it all panned out as far as our itinerary went:

1. Day one. We got up early to beat the crowds and went to Wind Cave national park for the family tour of Wind Cave. Caving is not on my list of favorite things to do---I just can't think too hard about the fact that I'm 200 feet underground WITH MY CHILDREN. But the kids liked the tour and I liked coming up the elevator back into solid ground.

Then we went to Mount Rushmore. Our friends opted for the audio tour, which was a smart choice, I realized, when my kids kept pilfering their headphones---full of interesting information, and a novelty enough to keep my (crabby, tired, whiney) 4 year old entertained. Next time, we'll just get our own headphones. We stayed at MR and perused the museum and stayed for treats. Note to self: All the desserts (even the Thomas Jefferson recipe ice cream) are gargantuan. Two, maybe three people could share them.

Later, we went to the Circle B Chuckwagon dinner and cowboy show in Hill City. Fun, just what you'd expect. I got my summer dose of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and the fiddler was actually good.

2. Day Two.

We did the Wildlife Loop in Custer State Park and got stuck in a herd of buffalo. Custer State Park far surpassed my expectations. It's amazing, which is why we came back on Day Three.

The weather was threatening to turn stormy, so we made the long drive to the Badlands, which were awesome.

The Badlands is a must-see. It's two hours or so from Mount Rushmore, but worth the trip. Lots of interesting walks and hikes and no one cares if the kids climb on the rocks---I think they are happy to have tourists do the fossil uncovering.

We took the long route out of Badlands and drove to a field dubbed "Robert's Prairie Dog Town". My daughter especially wanted to see the prairie dogs and they are cute, yes they are---from a distance of course, no touching. 

And they have fleas, yes, they do. The prairie dogs stayed in the field but the fleas hitched a ride. Shame on those fleas. If you don't want to risk fleas, stay out of the field and on the pavement.

Then we went to the very quirky mega-monstrosity that is Wall Drug in Wall, South Dakota (home of Wall Drug!) Words can't describe it: It's a drugstore! It's a restaurant! It's a chapel! Every quirky South Dakota tchotchke is sold here! And there are bathrooms! And free water! And a t-rex! And a jackalope! And history! 

It's like a big American inside joke and now we know it. If you like that quirky sort of Americana, don't miss it. The folklorist in me went bananas. 

3. Day Three

We started the day in Hill City at the Geological Institute of South Dakota Museum. It's small, but it's packed with fossils. This was a highlight for my oldest because he's full of facts about dinosaurs and I was entertained as he chattered about dinosaur teeth, feet, and meat. Fascinating. I would have passed it by, but was glad Eric wanted to stop. 

The rest of the day we spent in Custer State Park, first driving the Needles Highway, and then at the blissful Sylvan Lake. We played in the lake and canoed and enjoyed the perfect weather and meeting people from all over the country. 

And that was the trip, but here are four more notes:

Note 1: Every year in August there’s the Sturgis motorcycle rally. We were there the week before, just as the bikers were starting to come in. Although it was totally fine that we were there the week before, I wouldn’t go the week of the motorcycle rally, just because it’s too crazy. I actually found the bikers to be very courteous, it was just the numbers I was happy to avoid.

Note 2: The Black Hills so beautiful in the summer. And it smells so good there, I'm not sure why: the sage? 

Note 3: I love our country and I'm used to being on the coasts or in the West. But it was nice to be more central US because we met people from the north, south, east, and west, all converging in central. 

Note 4: We packed in all that we could, but there was so much we missed. We never got to Rapid City, and we missed the mammoth site in Hot Springs. I would love have to have had time for Spearfish Canyon (the locals confirmed this is beautiful), and Deadwood sounded fun. There are also a bunch of caves to explore, or (like me next time) just send the rest of your family. There just wasn't enough time. 

All in all, we had a lovely trip. If you want a resort vacation, look elsewhere. But if the great outdoors with quirky side trips is your cup of cocoa, I'd say put this on your list. 

Us Against You, Butchering Art, Island of the Mad

Here are my latest finds:

1. The Butchering Art by Lindsey Fitzharris about the advent of sterile surgery. Definitely a topic I wouldn't chose! Ew. The book is vivid about surgery practices of the nineteenth century and they were gruesome. As in cringe-when-I-read it gruesome. But factual, so therefore fascinating. Surgery had to start somewhere. If you like historical novels, give this one a try. Fitzharris is a fine writer and I always admire an author who can make a topic (like surgery) that I think: "No thank you", to be something that's actually pretty interesting because of the way she tells it.

2. Us Against You by Fredrik Backman, the sequel to Beartown. Some sequels are total letdowns after the first fine book, and I wondered if Backman could keep it up. He can. Adult themes, not for my tween readers, but I'd love to suggest it to a (non-offended!) book club of intelligent readers. Backman is one of the few authors would can make me heartily laugh and get to profound realizations in the same paragraph.

3. Island of the Mad, the next in my favorite detective series starring Mary Russell as a sidekick to Sherlock Holmes. I was waiting for this to arrive at my library because it was just published a few months ago. And Laurie King keeps up her Laurie King self. Bedlam mental hospital! Venice! Fascists! Cole Porter! Sherlock Holmes as Zorro! If King only did a great mystery plot, I'd be hooked. But King has this expansive vocabulary! Like the word "susurrations", which means "a whispering sound" and King uses it to describe the ocean waves. Marvelous.

She plays with the concept of gender identity, so if that makes you nervous, or you have a young reader you don't want to go there yet, now you know.

Happy summer reading!

Educated by Tara Westover, and Idaho

One of the latest "to read" books is Educated by Tara Westover. It was recommended to me by a friend, then I kept seeing it on book blogs and books lists and more smart friends were talking about it. (I LOVE my smart friends!)

Tara grew up in rural Idaho and there's a reason rural Idaho has the reputation it does, I can vouch for that because I lived there myself for a while. When my kids ask me for stories about my childhood they know that any story about Idaho is going to turn into a tall tale: that when you drive into town you go back in time, that the dinosaurs wander the streets, and that the only day of summer is the 4th of July---that one is true actually. I tell these tall tales because the reality is just too weird to describe, and I wasn't happy there. When we moved to California, I came back alive.

But all these years I've wondered if my memories of rural Idaho were tainted because I was there when I was 8 years old and we left when I was 12, and those were awwwkkkkwarrrd Deborah years. Maybe it was just me.

But the way Tara describes rural Idaho living, I can firmly say: Nope. It wasn't me.

I'm talking small town Idaho, by the way. I'm sure Boise is better, it must be.

Of course, Tara's parents had plenty of issues, while I had parents who didn't. So it wasn't her home life I could identify with, but the attitudes of the people in the town and the general life perspective. You'd have to live there to get it, but it's what makes Napoleon Dynamite funny.

So rural Idaho is the setting. Where people stockpile guns and only heal with herbs and are suspicious about government everything. And that's considered normal. Add to this that Tara's dad is manic depressive and paranoid, and her mother is living his warped reality, and there's abuse of all kinds in the home, they live their own version of Mormonism, and Tara is homeschooled . . . . well that's a story.

But what makes an interesting story is that Tara gets out to the rest of the world.

The saddest thing to me is how well she portrays what happens in the mind of a family member who has been taught her role---children get this young, what role they are expected to have. The dark side of this is abuse where family members are taught to accept and even continue harmful family patterns. This would be a funny story about a weird family if it weren't for that abuse. And that Tara is taught to accept it.

The redemption of the story is that when Tara gets out to the rest of the world, she gets away from the abuse. But oh, the battles in her mind and heart to do it.

This would be a fascinating read for any book club. For people who are going to get all "Well most Mormons aren't like that!" huffy, they'll be offended.

Of course most Mormons aren't like this. But let's examine the dark side of when religion is used as justification for crazy behavior, and that can be found in any faith.

Wonder. Lots of Wonder. by R.J. Palacio

By the time I read Harry Potter, the first book, the second book had already come out. I was a little late to the Potter party, but it was nice that the series was clipping along by the time I found it because then I didn't have to wait much.

Same with Wonder by RJ Palacio. By the time I read Wonder, there was already:

Wonder
Auggie and Me
We're All Wonders (a picture book)
365 Days of Wonder: Mr. Browne's Book of Precepts and
choose KIND journal

And the movie, which I haven't seen yet. But it's on the Netflix queue.

So I volunteered to do Wonder for my book club and then read all the books. Then I had intelligent- and-kind-and-funny friends (my favorite) come over for book club and we had a great discussion. Here's the tip of the iceberg:

1. This book is great for discussion at any age---kids can get it, teenagers understand it, adults can relate to it. Especially good for teaching kindness and compassion for grades 4-8.
2. Lots of "choose kind" messages and isn't that nice to find in YA!
3. Lots of tough themes in these: accepting people with differences, stress on family/friends for caring for people with extensive medical needs, bullying, etc.
4. Great book for teaching point of view, especially nice that there's Auggie and Me for that one.
5. Palacio got a lot of flack, evidently (I didn't know this), for not being sensitive/representing well the community of people with differences and challenges---I despise the term "disabled" because it's so surface---because she's an outsider, not an insider. Our group had a good discussion about that.
6. The choose KIND journal and 365 days are great for writing teachers or young writers.

And here are two of my favorites:

1. Via was absolutely my favorite character because she's so conflicted. She loves her brother and she had always understood the need for herself to take a back seat to his medical needs. Her parents are good parents who are portrayed as saintly in the books (we don't get their perspectives ever), but they aren't really paying attention to their lack of attention to Via. But there comes a point where she needs some love and attention too. Hey, let's talk about that.

2. I found it fascinating the justifications for mean behavior that the kids make. Blaming another kid, just wanting to be liked themselves, protecting their own group identity. But there's this lovely character named Summer who doesn't buy into it.  She says, when some girls are talking about "everyone" being mean: "No one has to be mean. Ever."

I love that character. She is more adult than some adults who say things like "Well I was just a laughing because it's funny! "(It's funny, but it's not kind), or "I'm just saying it because it's true!" (It's true, but it's not compassionate.) or "I'm just reacting because of what she did." (But you are choosing your reaction.)

Summer made me think of this old book where this is taught:

38 ¶ Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have [thy] cloke also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 ¶ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

(Matthew 5)

In other words:

If someone is mean to you, choose kind.
If someone takes something from you, choose kind.
If someone says something mean, choose kind.
If someone is laughing at someone else, you don't have to.
If someone is being mean to someone else, you don't have to follow.
If someone is different from you, choose kind.




Thanks Palacio. Great work. 

Christmas Read-Alouds 2017

Every year I add more books to our “Wrap the books up and read a package every night”. First there was one book, then two in each package and this year most packages had four books. 

I think there were too many this year because we are still reading “new” books and Christmas passed a few days ago. I’m not sure what the solution is, I just can’t help myself from bringing more great books home. I’ll ponder this for next year. Maybe I just keep the favorite books in the wrapping and keep the rest of the books out in bins.

For now, here’s another updated list. Alphabetized by author now because the other way was making me crazy when I was requesting books from the library. For this list, I also put a *next to books that are becoming interwoven with our family Christmas

"Make it Yourself" theme: Nice for the beginning of the season.
A Homemade Together Christmas by Cocca-Leffler
The Not Very Merry Pout-Pout Fish by Deborah Diesen
Shall I Knit you a Hat? by Klise

Traditions in Other Countries Themes
Jingle Bells by Trapani
The Legend of the Poinsettia by Tomie dePaloa
The Legend of Old Befena by Tomie dePaloa
First Dog's White House Christmas by Lewis (A pleasant surprise, I was initially put off by the title.)

"Don't Get Too Carried Away/Remember What Christmas is About" theme
The Amazing Christmas Extravaganza by Shannon
Llama Llama Holiday Drama by Dewdney

Fun Non-Nativity themed books

Mr. Willoughby's Christmas Tree by Robert Barry
Home for Christmas by Jan Brett
The Twelve Days of Christmas by Jan Brett
The Night Before Christmas by Jan Brett
The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett
Who's That Knocking on Christmas Eve by Jan Brett
Snowmen for Christmas by Buehner
The Twelve Days of Christmas Dogs by Conahan
Click, Clack, Ho! Ho! Ho! by Cronin

Strega Nona’s Gift by Tomie dePaola
Llama Llama Holiday Drama by Dewdney

Stick Man by Julia Donaldson
Mary Engelbreit's Nutcracker by Englelbreit
Olivia Helps with Christmas by Falconer

*Christmas Lights by Fearrington—I like to start the season with this book and talk about the symbol of light.
Christmas Wombat by Jackie French
Oh, What a Christmas by Garland
A Creature was Stirring by Goodrich
The Night Before Christmas illustrated by Cheryl Harness
Houseful of Christmas by Joosse
My Penguin Osbert by Kimmel
Gingerbread Pirates by Kladstrup
Redheaded Robbie's Christmas Story by Luttrell
Dear Santasaurus by McAnulty
The Christmas Ship by Morrissey (Amazing illustrations!)
Auntie Claus by Primavera
Dinosaur vs. Santa by Bob Shea (ROAR!)
How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
Too Many Tamales by Soto
Twelve Lizards Leaping by Stevens
On Christmas Day in the Morning by Sweet
The Polar Express by Van Allsburg
How do Dinosaurs Say Merry Christmas by Yolen
The Night Before Christmas illustrated by Bruce Whatley

Next are the fun books, B list. Still good, especially for my younger two. Just not on my personal classics list.

What's Coming for Christmas by Banks
Christmas Parade by Sandra Boynton

Christmas Trolls by Jan Brett

Home for Christmas by Jan Brett
Grumpy Badger's Christmas by Bright (This has the word "piffle" in it and it's fun to read.)
Merry Christmas, Old Armadillo by Brimner

When Cows Come Home for Christmas by Dori Chaconas

Cobweb Christmas by Shirley Climo
The Christmas Bears by Chris Conniver (The storyline is OK, but the illustrations are darling.)
Christmas at the Top of the World by Coffeey
There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Bell by Colandro

Mrs Wishy Washy’s Christmas by Cowley
Carl's Christmas by Day
Santa's Stowaway by Dorman
The Three Bears Christmas by Kathy Duval

Christmastime by Alison Jay

The Twelve Days of Christmas by Susan Jeffers
Tacky's Christmas by Lester

Santa Claus and the Three Bears by Modugno

Santa’s New Suit by Rader

Christmas Cookies by Rosenthal

Together at Christmas by Eileen Spinelli

Inside, Outside Christmas by Spowart
Christmas Magic by Stainton

The Christmas Quiet Book by Underwood
Merry Christmas Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood

These next books are about Christ's birth, and/or have themes like charity and giving. I save these for Sunday story time especially.

December by Bunting
Christmas in the Barn by Margaret Wise Brown
Saint Francis and the Christmas Donkey by Byrd
Great Joy by DiCamillo
Christmas Is by Gibbons
Asleep in the Stable by Hillenbrand

Our Very Own Christmas by Annette Langen
The Little Fir Tree by Lamarche (This one makes me cry. Every. Single. Time.)

Song of the Stars by Sally Lloyd-Jones
The Crippled Lamb by Lucado
Listen to the Silent Night by Mackall (artwork is lovely)
Gifts of the Heart by Polacco
The Orange for Frankie by Polacco
All the the Newborn Baby by Phyllis Root

The Friendly Beasts by Rebecca St. James

The Donkey’s Christmas Song by Tafur
One Starry Night by Thompson
Spirit of Christmas by Tillman

Room for a Little One by Waddell

Other Books not for the Wrap and Read tradition, but fun to have around

Here Comes Santa Claus by Mary Englebreit

Red Sled by Rita Judge

The Snowy Day by Keats

The Strega Nona books by dePaolo, to understand the Strega Nona story
The Snowmen books by the Buehners, tis the season

The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

The Snow Child, by Eowyn Ivey, is on my current favorites list. You can check another source for a more complete summary, but here's mine: A childless couple lives in Alaska and wants a child. They build a snow child out of snow and then they see a real child flitting in and out of the woods. Is she real? Is she for them? And so the story goes . . .

It's more fairy tale than fiction as far as genre goes. It is itself, and it is lovely.

I checked it out of the library, and I felt like Ivey sent me my own beautiful gift. It is kind, it is gentle, it's about hope and love and losing and finding.

It's lovely.

I think Santa is going to bring me a copy. I will put it next to the other books I use as literary comfort food, warm and filling.

Grandma Gatewood's Walk by Ben Montgomery

Grandma Gatewood's Walk is about this really amazing lady who, at age 67, walked the Appalachian Trail. She wasn't wealthy, she wasn't well-equipped, she wasn't in amazing physical shape, she was just plain stubborn.

The story is great, the writing approachable, the character unforgettable. I'd recommend it. 

Go Granny, Go.